don't shoot the pianist
he is doing the best he can

There’s an amusing story in the Toronto Star from yesterday suggesting that three Liberals are considering crossing the floor to join the governing Conservatives. As speculation goes, one of them may be Brampton—Springdale MP Ruby Dhalla, bringing the number of Dhalla-joins-Tories rumours to about forty-seven over the last five years.

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As a footnote to yesterday’s piece, the Burlington Township School District, where B. Bernice Young Elementary School is located, issued two letters to parents on Thursday and Friday:

September 24, 2009

Dear Burlington Township Families:

… The video is of a class of students singing a song about President Obama. The activity took place during Black History Month in 2009, which is recognized each February to honor the contributions of African Americans to our country. Our curriculum studies, honors and recognizes those who serve our country. The recording and distribution of the class activity were unauthorized.

September 25, 2009

Dear Burlington Township Families:

… We have learned that the video was posted on the author’s website without district approval or knowledge. It appears that another party copied the video from the author’s website and placed it on YouTube. We have been informed that the video has been removed from the author’s website.

… We have taken additional measures over the past two days to assure the safety and security of children and staff. We have worked very closely with our police department and school resource officers. We have had a police presence on our campuses and have increased administrative presence at the B. Bernice Young School. News crews have been kept off campuses. There were no incidents in our schools as a result of this matter. Our children, staff, and schools are safe and secure. We are working with our police department to have the video removed from YouTube.

They still don’t get it. To them, the problem wasn’t the political indoctrination of children in a public school; the problem was that the activity was recorded and posted on YouTube. In other words, as the old saying goes, they’re sorry they got caught.

If there was a handbook on how to become a modern dictator, one of the first instructions would probably be to indoctrinate every person between the ages of five and twenty-five. History is littered with examples of regimes that used youth movements to acquire a stranglehold on power: the Hitler Youth; the Soviet Young Pioneers; China’s Hongweibing (Red Guards). In Iran, Islamist student groups were at the forefront of the 1980 revolution.

Which makes this video all the more alarming. This is from B. Bernice Young Elementary School in Burlington, NJ, and apparently, this is what counts for music education these days.

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Why is it that I never see news items begin like this?

FARMVILLE, Va. – A criminal justice professor and her daughter, whom police say were slain by a local symphony orchestra conductor, were in counselling over the teenager’s obsession with the aesthetic music, and the mother took her daughter to the concerts to keep an eye on her, a family friend said Wednesday.

Related: Slain mom, teen had counselling over music

Here’s something I don’t get. Why hasn’t anybody pointed out the giant conflict of interest the NHL has entered by placing its own bid for the Phoenix Coyotes while it requires that all bids for the franchise receive its stamp of approval? While we’re at it, if the NHL has the right to reject all other potential bidders, why doesn’t the NHL lower its bid to a dollar?

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Gold medal: e.a. Nobuyuki Tsujii (Japan) and Zhang Haochen (China)
Silver medal: Son Yeol Eum (Korea)
Crystal award: n.p.

Finalists: Evgeni Bozhanov (Bulgaria)
        Mariangela Vacatello (Italy)
        Wu Di (China)

I have to say that I suspected the tie as soon as I saw two silver trophies on the table. The no prize for the crystal confirmed my suspicions (the crystal is only to be awarded if there is a single gold medalist and a single silver medalist).

The jury had choices ranging from the eccentric—Bozhanov, who imposed his personality onto the music to the point where he reportedly incensed maestro James Conlon with his “with me or against me” attitude in the concerti—to the conservative: pick the pianist who didn’t miss more than a handful of notes during the entire competition. The selection of Zhang—who, at the ripe old age of nineteen years and four days, becomes the youngest gold medalist in Cliburn history—falls solidly on the latter end of that scale.

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The Saudis have beheaded and crucified a man convicted of double homicide:

Crucifying the headless body in a public place is a way to set an example, according to the kingdom’s strict interpretation of Islam. Normally those convicted of rape, murder and drug trafficking in Saudi Arabia are just beheaded.

You know, I’m not sure these guys get the point. The idea behind crucifixion as an execution method was to cause an agonizing, prolonged suffering before death. It’s where we get our English word excruciating from. So, beheading the man first and then crucifying the body—well, that just defeats the purpose entirely, doesn’t it?

(Weird language quirk: the headline on the story—Saudis behead, crucify murder convict—contains four consecutive words that can be used as verbs. Isn’t that neat?)

There’s lots to write about, but one thing in particular is irritating me to no end: the notion that in order to avoid a confidence vote, Harper has shut down the Canadian government for the next fifty-two days. The claim is being made mostly by backers of the coalition, including a certain party that still, despite its claims of relevancy, hasn’t won any seats in Parliament:

… Canadians are now saddled with a government who … now plans to take an extended break in order to dodge democracy.

Is Harper requesting prorogation at least partially to delay a vote of confidence? Of course he is. But what’s particularly noticeable is that the Greens appear to be completely clueless about the distinction between the executive branch and the legislative branch.

In case the Greens skipped their civics classes, here’s a crash course: Her Majesty’s Government forms the executive branch of the country. The Parliament of Canada, on the other hand, is the legislative body of the country. Parliament, the legislative body, is being prorogued. The government, on the other hand, is still functioning.

In other words, if the Canada Revenue Agency is reviewing your tax return, you will continue to hear from them at their usual slow-as-molasses pace.

Say what you want about Harper suspending an elected body in order to continue governing, but at least to accuse him of being a dictator is to be more accurate than to make the ridiculous assertion that the government itself is being shut down.

I can’t take credit for that pun, but I’ve unabashedly stolen it anyway.

The big news out of Ottawa—and it seems like there’s another item every five minutes all of the sudden—is that all three opposition parties are in talks to form a coalition and force Harper’s Conservatives out of power. The talks involve political giants of yesteryear such as former prime minister Jean Chrétien and former NDP leader Ed Broadbent, and with today comes word that the NDP and Bloc Québécois were in coalition talks “a long time ago”.

It sounds more exciting than it actually is, mostly because chances are remote that such talks will succeed, and even more remote that they will result in a long-term victory against the Conservatives. Ignoring the curious prospect of a self-avowed separatist party holding the controlling stake in a coalition government, one has to wonder if the opposition parties—the Liberals in particular—haven’t erred in discounting the possibility of this plan backfiring.

What’s lost in all this is that the Conservatives still hold 143 seats in Ottawa. With the Tories able to count on the regular support of André Arthur and still ideologically aligned, if not politically affiliated, with Bill Casey, that leaves the Tories ten seats short of a parliamentary majority—nine, de facto, if Peter Milliken remains the speaker. And that means the opposition parties may be playing with fire here.

Because it’s hard to believe that there won’t be at least a handful of blue Liberals crossing the floor if this plan comes to fruition, just like plenty of red Tories went the other way when the Progressive Conservatives merged with the Canadian Alliance. Bottom line: if I’m Harper, and the Liberals ally with the New Democrats, I know exactly what I’m doing first: calling Alliance-turned-Liberal MP Keith Martin, and offering him the Veterans Affairs portfolio.

Why is it that I never see news items begin like this?

URBANA, Ohio – A defendant had a hard time facing the music.

Andrew Vactor was facing a $150 fine for playing classical music too loudly on his car stereo in July. But a judge offered to reduce that to $35 if Vactor spent 20 hours listening to hip-hop music by the likes of Kanye West and Jay-Z.

Vactor, 24, lasted only about 15 minutes, a probation officer said.

Related: Judge sentences rap fan to Bach, Beethoven